Genuinely Fake?

In a world, or rather in an age, where First impressions often make or break the potential relationships we may share with people, cordial or otherwise, do we go out of our way to project ourselves as the ‘perfect’ strangers?

Now that is as controversial an opening I could have come up with. Right?

Having *just* experienced a successful MBA Entrance cycle, I have gone through a lot of ‘First Impressions play’ lately.

The excellent student, with a humane side, who is dedicated to the well-being of others…

The studious, hard working girl who managed to ace the CAT while working…

The extrovert future batchmate who *loves* organizing meets, taking discussions forward and making those funny comments…

Am I any of the above in particular? Nope. Not a single one.

Am I a blend of all of the above, with the habit of occasionally exaggerating a particular facet of my personality, as the need be? Yea well, you could say that.

And forget the MBA Entrance dance, don’t we all play up a part of our personalities during certain situations, even when in our heart, we know, we are not that person?

I can recollect a million instances when I have behaved as a mature 24 year old in front of relatives, saying ‘adult’ things, behaving all prim and properly, even when at heart, I would rather be chilling out, behaving like a kid, and just plain acting all immature? I mean, literally, I can see myself laughing at the douchebag I was projecting myself to be. Yet my relatives were all very proud to see my ‘maturity’

And all because I wanted to make a good impression. Sometimes for my sake, sometimes for my family’s.  

Before you go all ‘tch tch’ on me, lemme ask you, have you not done something similar or even worse? (over here, take a minute and think back to your last Job Interview, dinner with your spouse’s family, that date with the real hot chick, or even your doctor to whom you are scared to admit of the extent of your smoking addiction!)

Not tch tching anymore, are we?! :P

Coming to one recent encounter with the ‘other’ me, I met up with a few people who have known me for a long time now. No they are not family, and no they don’t exactly form Facebook’s new ‘Close Friends’ group. But yes, they have seen me as an awkward kid, a geeky teenager, and an elegant young adult [bwahahahahhahahahahahhaha elegant?!] Its fair to say that they have probably seen the non-political, honest-to-God side of me, more often than just once, and I need not be anything but myself in front of them.

Yet, when we got talking, I could see myself feeling flustered, looking for excuses and faking things. Saying things I don’t mean, not saying things that I believe in.

Not objecting to things they said that I felt were wrong, but staying mum and even nodding along.

This got me thinking, have we become so shallow that we are afraid that the real us is not good enough that we don’t even stand up for things that we believe in, even if have known the potential opposing forces for ages?

And more importantly, is this because we want to avoid conflicts, feel that opposing the other person just for the heck of it is not worthy enough, or because we feel ashamed of our REAL thoughts and beliefs?

And again, this post too exceeds the word limit I set out to, yet I have not even touched the real point….

Give me a few hours to organize my thoughts better, will be back, after a day’s break..!

Disclaimers ::

1.       Dear future college and present dream, don’t throw me out because of this.

2.       Dear ‘not close friends’ hope you never figure out who I am talking about

3.       Dear relatives, trust me I am just very occasionally immature. Mostly I am the mature, well behaved girl I seem to be.

4.       Sorry for not continuing my last post…

5.       I promise I will be back tomorrow…. Promise!